You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
