I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
