i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
