I accidentally had phone sex last night
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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