I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
