idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
