You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
