I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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