we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
They have beer where we have blood.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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