i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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