my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
