Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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