As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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