Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
