Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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