its not stalking. its research.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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