Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
