I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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