i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
