People in love make me want to vomit
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
