and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
