K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
where am i from again
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
