so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
