I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize