So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
