Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
