The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much gin, very little bucket
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize