Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
