Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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