the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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