Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
God, I missed his penis.
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