he puts the penis in happiness.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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