their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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