belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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