I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
