proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
