i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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