do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
