This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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