why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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