Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize