I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I CAN MOONWALK!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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