Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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