I can text with my tongue
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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