return my video game
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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