What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize