That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
