i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
