the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
