If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize