I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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