Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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