Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
