is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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