Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
