i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
