No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
