Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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