Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
