I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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