she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
