The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
